Gender Reveal

Boy or Girl: For the longest time both my hubby & I have been praying for this precious baby & finally the day arrived where we would find out if we were having a boy or girl. My mother & best friend of 28 years joined us on this exciting day. We were brought into the ultrasound room quickly & as they prepared me for the procedure my husband & I just looked at each other with joy & excitement. The tech began her pushing & searching of my tummy & quickly pronounced "Its a girl, definitely its a girl!" My husband & I were moved to tears & the Lord's faithfulness ran through my mind & I was completely overwhelmed by His grace. She asked if we had been wanting a girl & our response was full of emotion & reminders of God's promises. We explained to her about the death of my grandmother which had been a mere 9 months to the day and how the Lord placed Hannah on my heart just weeks before we found out we were pregnant. Oh how wonderful, how amazing, how great are the promises of the Lord! Anthony then decided to let my mom and best friend in on the excitement went out of the room to get them, and as soon as he walked out of the room and my mom entered the tech stated "Oops I think its a boy." My heart sank, my countenance changed & I was completely distraught. When Anthony came back into the room and we told him the new findings he was also sad. Now I have to add, we both were fully prepared to love our baby, boy or girl, however, going from a complete time of remembering every promise & thinking back on my grandmother placed us in a weird emotional state. We were devastated. 

After a brief lapse of faith, an outburst of anger & tears of confusion, my husband & I took time to let our news sink in. We had another ultrasound in two days & we would be for sure by then. Friday came quickly & for this reveal his parents joined us as well as my mom & best friend. This time the news was exciting, we were so happy to see our baby on the screen & watch as he showed off his feet & little arms to us. He turned his backside to us after about 45 mins of show & like him I was done for the day. 

I've been doing some thinking & I am still a little confused about what I believed to be true & what has become truth, but I am still grateful for this little miracle within me. I am so happy to be carrying my little son & I cannot wait to meet him. It may take me some time to seek God's reasons for my misunderstandings of what was shown to me, but I am only human & sometimes what we desire is not what God desires for us. He has a plan, for me, for my husband & for our son. His ways are definitely not ours yet His ways are good & His plans are too. So I am learning acceptance & finding peace in just trusting that "Father knows best" & as hard as it is sometimes to learn this truth the good news is, there is still grace found in this place of acceptance & doubt. 

Thank you Jesus for this blessings of our son Aiden Anthony & we are overjoyed by your mercies & your ways.

<3 Angelia

Ignore the date ... i changed the batteries on the camera & did not change the date. 

 "'For My thoughts [are] not your thoughts,

 Nor [are] your ways My ways,' says the LORD. 

For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, 

So are My ways higher than your ways, 

And My thoughts than your thoughts.'" 

-Isaiah 55:8-9

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, 

thoughts of peace and not of evil, 

to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

 

Letters for Baby

Letters: I've started writing to our baby, honestly I think I've only written 1 letter but I do desire to do more. Having such a hard pregnancy so far, I have wanted to do something special so that my heart would be excited & not over burdened by the trials surrounding this blessing. I was thinking the other night about what I would do with these letters to Baby & I think I will present them to him/her on their 18th Birthday. I want our child to know all of the plans & prayers we had for them their entire life. I want our child to know they were loved so much even before we met them. And I want our child to know how blessed we are knowing the Lord answered our prayers. 

So all of this thinking got me wondering really what do I desire for our child? And there are a few that I have. I really desire for our child to be madly in love with the Lord. I want this baby to grow up knowing and serving Jesus Christ all the days of their life. I desire for our baby to desire the things of the Lord & want to live a life in reverence of Jesus. I desire for our child to have a love of reading & books & love learning. I desire for our child to be open to trying new things & taking chances. Most of all I desire a child who loves to worship our Lord. These are what is most important to me & I can only pray and instill the values that would ignite these passions in my child. Sure I want my child to have their own mind & choose their own paths in life but I also believe it is important to instill those moral values that we as parents treasure as well as shield them from those things that would bring them harm. Most importantly I want my child to know that what ever path they choose or choices they make that I will always always love and accept them. This is something I learned from my Grandmother, this is the love she demonstrated to me & it was a picture of unconditional love. I can only hope and pray that I can be as great as a mother as my own mom & grandmother, I can only choose to exhibit those qualities I admired from both and deny the qualities that I disliked. I am more than thankful to have had such beautiful examples of amazing motherhood in my life.

Yes, it is hard being a diabetic mommy-2-be but sometimes you have to look over the trial or through it & see the end result. True not all trials have a definite end or set time but this one so happens to have one. Having a baby is not the trial but having a baby while being a diabetic sure is. I know that our baby is in the hands of the Lord & I don't think I would have been able to come as far as I have without the prayers, support & love from my husband, mom & friends & of course without the secure promises from my Lord.

I encourage you mommies, find something to prepare for your baby something the helps you look over this trial, something that helps you see the ending. Be encouraged & be blessed <3 

"The Lord's promises are pure, 

like silver refined in a furnace, 

purified seven times over." 

Psalms 12:6

<3 Angelia 






 

The woes of Diabetes

Our baby @ 13 weeks

Our Baby: We are now in the middle of week 15 & moving right along in the 2nd trimester. As a diabetic I am learning that my blood sugar tends to have a mind of its own, regardless of what I eat. The scary thing is learning how much sugar effects the baby as it's developing, I was told with sugar levels over 130 consistently, its like I am drinking alcohol during my pregnancy. And its almost crazy to ever assume me drinking during pregnancy but eating sugar or carbs? Doesn't sound so crazy. 

The baby thus far is healthy & growing but it's not without sacrifice on my part. At the very beginning of our pregnancy I cried in the doctor's office for over 20 minutes refusing insulin, the thought of injecting myself not only terrified me but had a since of doom that I felt would plague me the rest of my life. It was just that serious for me. However, I yielded because I knew what was best for my unborn child, this little life within me, if I wasn't going to care for it's well-being then who would? I knew right then that this was only the beginning of sacrificial love I would continually demonstrate to my child, forever. I think in order to understand where I am coming from you must understand diabetes & pregnancy.

During the 1st trimester all of the babies vital organs are being developed and with high sugars there can be serious repercussions in their development. For example, enlarged organs or a hole in the heart are just a couple of possible problems the baby can develop. Normal diabetics are to have blood sugar levels of <100 when fasting (or first thing in the morning) and <180 within 2 hours after eating. However for a pregnant woman fasting levels must be below 90, in fact between 70-90, and 2 hours after eating must not exceed 120 (some doctors say 130, this is debatable). 

http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/treatment-and-care/blood-glucose-control/checking-your-blood-glucose.html

For a type 2 diabetic who is pregnant, it is an uphill battle to control blood sugar levels, and it can be frustrating when you watch your numbers lower & raise, almost from hour to hour & not be able to control it. It is even more frustrating when you feel like no one else understands. A type 2 diabetic who is pregnant begins to produce hormones that are insulin resistant as the pregnancy progresses. So imagine this, you take insulin, manage your diet & still your sugars can go outta control, frustrating. And that is the battle I have had to fight. 

There are a few tricks I have learned...
1. high sugars = exercise, nothing too strenuous, especially if you are pregnant, but a nice walk usually drops my blood sugar levels about 20 less. 
2. Water= drinking lots of liquid in general but especially water can keep those sugars lowered
3.Stress = if your sugars are high don't freak out! that will just raise the sugars higher, relax, take a walk, drink some water. 
4.Protein= since i cannot enjoy all my carbs I love i have started a new love affair with protein! a vital trick I have learned is, if you have a little extra carbs on one meal, eat extra protein. But please don't over do it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xgeG2gtI0A  
5. Remember= remember who you are sacrificing for. Many times I have found myself completely discouraged but then I remember who I am doing this for, for a beautiful baby we have been praying & waiting for. Never lose sight of this.

Trust me, it's still not easy, & I don't imagine it getting any easier, but I know my goal is getting closer...the birth of our BABY!!!  In fact, just this week my sugars have been going nuts, & I had to remind myself that as I am newly in the 2nd trimester my hormones are nutty once again & there will probably have to be some adjusting of my insulin in order to level out. 

Just last week when we were at the doctor's waiting to be seen by the diabetes doctor a couple came into the room with my nutritionist & took a seat. The man was chomping on chex mix in a baggy & start taunting the woman (who had to be in her mid to late 20's) with the snack. "mmmm, mmmm" he said as he waved the baggy in front of her face. She was definitely a lot more pregnant that I am & she just laughed & shook her head. The man proceeded to tell her how she shouldn't have told the doctor what she had been eating the last couple of weeks, and she agreed. He then laughed and said "oooo you didn't tell him about the soda" she joined in the laughter. The two continued to jokingly discuss all of the mishaps with her diet. I sat back & just thought about how sad it was for that poor baby, it's mommy wasn't caring for him/her to the best of her ability. I felt bad because I wanted the mommy to really think about what she was doing to her baby. But then I was so thankful for my own husband who has also made sacrifices with his eating habits for me & for our child, he doesn't allow himself to have anything that I cannot have. And the main reason isn't because I told him to do so, but because he loves me & his unborn child. We heard later as I sat in my diabetes doctor's office that this woman before me (the one in the waiting room) was going to have to be admitted to the hospital because of her consistently high sugar levels, & believe me I've been there too but before I knew there was something I could do about it.


It is so important to have that kind of support mommies, & I do pray that right now you have that spouse, partner or friend who is walking with you along this hard path. I have been blessed with a dear friend who has walked this path before & she is now holding my hand & walking with me in my journey, along with my husband. 

Babies who are born to diabetic mommies have a higher chance of being very large, in fact, many times too large to be delivered vaginally & requiring a c-section. C-sections for diabetic mommies are not good, healing takes longer for diabetics & can have many complications. Also these large babies, tend to be larger their whole life, obese in fact. But not obese to where to tell them to run a few laps, this obesity cannot be solved, the weight cannot be lost. So mommies, please think before you have that extra serving of carbs, or have that regular soda or eat that whole candy bar, think about what you are doing for to your baby, think of the consequences. Believe me, its hard & I don't always make the right choices, but I am very very quick to get right back on track. Learn from the mistakes of your bad choices & just vow to choose better ones the next time. Tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to be better, a new chance to make changes.

So mommies-to-be don't be discouraged, but be encouraged by your sacrificial love you are demonstrating & how amazing it is to know that this little life is forming right now inside of you. Wow! What a phenomenal concept, a little life is being formed inside you right now...how beautiful!

 "For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And [that] my soul knows very well."

Psalms 139:13-14 

Blessings <3

Angelia