My Story

For the Love of Sweets:
I have always been a lover of candies, not chocolate but the sweet flavor of anything from gummies to jelly beans to candy canes. My obsession got worse as I got older & could afford my own sweet rewards but anyone who knows diabetes knows that's not how it all starts. 
Growing up with a single-mom I remember the struggles of daily life & learned at a young age the necessity of having a cupboard full of yummy-cheap carbs. As an adult I knew if I had at least a couple bags of spaghetti noodles & jars of sauce I had enough, we could survive. Even in my marriage I made sure we had that spaghetti & you can't forget the rice packed full in our tiny pantry, this was definitely a comfort for me. Little did I know this would all change, well at least slightly.
In 2011, my doggy I had for over 10 years died suddenly in my arms one sunny October day, it took me by complete surprise & drastically shocked my being. He was genuinely the love of my life, we had been together through everything. The now thin, blonde full of life cockerspaniel was now lifeless in my arms & I was devastated. This was the first great loss I had experienced in my then 31 years of life. I could not handle the grief & found myself lost in tears for hours, unable to control the overwhelming sense of loss, I had not experience such pain before. So I took a few muscle relaxers to sleep & a few hours later I was up again & to my surmise still full of grief & pain. I asked my husband for a few more pills to help me back to sleep & him not knowing how many I had taken hours before gave them to me. At 4am I couldn't still sleep & could not help but stare at the now empty doggy bed that sat across from my own. I asked my husband to take me to my mom & grandparent's home. I rode the 5 minute drive huddled in the backseat, clinching my pillow sobbing uncontrollably. When we reached my grandparents home I rolled out of the backseat & wham! Hit the cold, dew-filled grass. 

My husband began shaking me uncontrollably trying to get an response from me but though words were flowing through my mind my mouth could not release them. The paramedics were called & while I was in the hospital for observation they discovered that I was a diabetic. It wasn't until about a year later that I accepted God's perfect & timely will. If it weren't for the losing of my beloved Chewbacca I would have continued to live & slowly deteriorate as a diabetic. But God is sovereign, He is faithful & loving & though I'm still missing my Chewbacca I have come to terms with God's plan for me.