Boy or Girl: For the longest time both my hubby & I have been praying for this precious baby & finally the day arrived where we would find out if we were having a boy or girl. My mother & best friend of 28 years joined us on this exciting day. We were brought into the ultrasound room quickly & as they prepared me for the procedure my husband & I just looked at each other with joy & excitement. The tech began her pushing & searching of my tummy & quickly pronounced "Its a girl, definitely its a girl!" My husband & I were moved to tears & the Lord's faithfulness ran through my mind & I was completely overwhelmed by His grace. She asked if we had been wanting a girl & our response was full of emotion & reminders of God's promises. We explained to her about the death of my grandmother which had been a mere 9 months to the day and how the Lord placed Hannah on my heart just weeks before we found out we were pregnant. Oh how wonderful, how amazing, how great are the promises of the Lord! Anthony then decided to let my mom and best friend in on the excitement went out of the room to get them, and as soon as he walked out of the room and my mom entered the tech stated "Oops I think its a boy." My heart sank, my countenance changed & I was completely distraught. When Anthony came back into the room and we told him the new findings he was also sad. Now I have to add, we both were fully prepared to love our baby, boy or girl, however, going from a complete time of remembering every promise & thinking back on my grandmother placed us in a weird emotional state. We were devastated.
After a brief lapse of faith, an outburst of anger & tears of confusion, my husband & I took time to let our news sink in. We had another ultrasound in two days & we would be for sure by then. Friday came quickly & for this reveal his parents joined us as well as my mom & best friend. This time the news was exciting, we were so happy to see our baby on the screen & watch as he showed off his feet & little arms to us. He turned his backside to us after about 45 mins of show & like him I was done for the day.
I've been doing some thinking & I am still a little confused about what I believed to be true & what has become truth, but I am still grateful for this little miracle within me. I am so happy to be carrying my little son & I cannot wait to meet him. It may take me some time to seek God's reasons for my misunderstandings of what was shown to me, but I am only human & sometimes what we desire is not what God desires for us. He has a plan, for me, for my husband & for our son. His ways are definitely not ours yet His ways are good & His plans are too. So I am learning acceptance & finding peace in just trusting that "Father knows best" & as hard as it is sometimes to learn this truth the good news is, there is still grace found in this place of acceptance & doubt.
Thank you Jesus for this blessings of our son Aiden Anthony & we are overjoyed by your mercies & your ways.
<3 Angelia
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| Ignore the date ... i changed the batteries on the camera & did not change the date. |
"'For My thoughts [are] not your thoughts,
Nor [are] your ways My ways,' says the LORD.
For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.'"
-Isaiah 55:8-9
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11
